Picking 32 NFL players to win an MMA fight ahead of historic UFC 300 fight card
The world of mixed martial arts is in for a historic weekend as UFC 300 will take place on Saturday night. It's one of those events that makes me wish I wrote about a different sport for a living but I figured out a way to cheat:What if I put together a list of NFL […]
The world of mixed martial arts is in for a historic weekend as UFC 300 will take place on Saturday night. It's one of those events that makes me wish I wrote about a different sport for a living but I figured out a way to cheat:
What if I put together a list of NFL players, one per team, that I'd pick to win an MMA fight? The results are below.
Disclaimer: Every team might have someone with experience in MMA, wrestling, or any combat sport, but going off of that alone would've made for a repetitive list, so you'll encounter some surprises. After all, we're just having fun with this one.
San Francisco 49ers: LB Fred Warner
This choice is all about the upside for me. Warner is an elite athlete and remains one of the freakiest players in the league, blurring the lines between linebacker, safety, and straight up wrecking ball.
Pair that with the fact that he's got what those in the fighting life call Mexican blood and we might have a badass boxer in our hands.
Chicago Bears: EDGE Montez Sweat
Sweat is built to be a destruction machine in the octagon. He's got elite arm length at over 35 inches and at 6-6, he's an imposing figure. And that's without even mentioning how violent his hands are on the field. Heck yeah, give me Sweat to win some fights.
Cincinnati Bengals: EDGE Trey Hendrickson
Length is a concern for Hendrickson, as he ranks in the 5th percentile of NFL defensive ends at 32 inches. But the fact that he's overcome that speaks about the dawg that he is. His intensity will make a difference on that octagon.
Buffalo Bills: DT Ed Oliver
Oliver has dominated the trenches despite being undersized in just about every metric. That comes thanks to the fight he brings to the table as well as an understanding of leverage. Sign me up.
Denver Broncos: EDGE Baron Browning
Another machine built for the octagon. He's got elite arm length and has the explosion needed to make a difference on fight night. He's shown a wide array of moves as a pass rusher and he'll likely have some more for the cage.
Cleveland Browns: EDGE Myles Garrett
Let's just make sure he enters the octagon with no helmets at hand. Other than that I don't think I've got to explain this one. Garrett is a supersized monster athlete.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: WR Mike Evans
Hey listen, I'm as intrigued as you are about watching Vita Vea on a fight. But I've got to hand it to Evans, his arm length is otherworldly. He might be one of our strikers with the most upside in the NFL.
Not to mention he's got quite the tiebreaker: Film. I mean, we've seen him go at it with Lattimore frequently.
Arizona Cardinals: OG Will Hernandez
Time to get serious: Hernandez lettered in high school in powerlifting and wrestling in addition to other sports including football. He still was a zero-star recruit going into college.
When else am I going to get an underdog mentality with that wrestling experience? Hernandez is an easy pick.
Los Angeles Chargers: HC Jim Harbaugh
Why am I picking a 60-year old man to go into a cage and win some MMA fights for me? Why!?
He's 44-19 in the NFL with five playoff wins and a Super Bowl appearance. He won the National Championship at Michigan after an 89-25 run. He just wins.
Kansas City Chiefs: OC Creed Humphrey
Humphrey is of the belief that he's become a top-tier center thanks to his wrestling background, which has led to him dominating NFL athletes.
“You’re getting super competitive, it’s just you against another person and you’ve got to be able to win,” Humphrey told The Athletic in 2021. “I take that same mentality out here to the football field every day. Just an understanding of leverage, that’s a huge thing, especially inside on the offensive line, how to move a body without (the defender) wanting to get moved. That’s been a big help from wrestling.”
Indianapolis Colts: OG Quenton Nelson
Not only is Nelson one of the most fearsome players in the league thanks to his power and physicality, he's also got some Taekwondo experience. Easy choice right here.
Washington Commanders: DT Jonathan Allen
Allen is violent in the trenches and might be an underrated striker on the list. Just ask teammate Daron Payne:
I'm telling you, that LANDED. Wait… should Payne's chin make us change the pick?
Dallas Cowboys: DT Osa Odighizuwa
The baddest man in the NFL? Osa won not one, not two, but three straight state heavyweight wrestling championships and went a combined 91-0 over this last two years in high school.
He also happens to be a rising star as the three-tech tackle for the Cowboys.
Miami Dolphins: QB Tua Tagovailoa
I didn't think I'd be picking a quarterback on this list but not only is Tua a southpaw, he's now got a jiu-jitsu toolbox.
Following his concussions in 2022, Tua learned the classic martial art in order to fall to the ground in safer ways. Per The Athletic, Tua attended jiu-jitsu classes every Friday last offseason. He must've picked up some submission techniques along the way, right?
Philadelphia Eagles: DT Jalen Carter
This is a "don't overthink it" pick for me. Carter is a beast on the football field and I could see his elite strength and power becoming a dangerous weapon in a fight.
Atlanta Falcons: RB Bijan Robinson
This one takes some projection to visualize but Robinson is already one of the most explosive athletes on the NFL landscape and I'd love to see what his legs can do if we get him attempting some kicks on the octagon.
New York Giants: DT Dexter Lawrence
At 6-4 and 340 pounds, Lawrence has the power to move multiple offensive linemen at once. He's also got the ideal arm length and size to make the difference.
Get him on the octagon and if gets a takedown, the opponent is not standing up I guarantee you that. Just imagine his violence out there.
Jacksonville Jaguars: EDGE Travon Walker
I might be making the same mistake the Jags did when they passed on Aidan Hutchinson but I don't care: I'm betting on Walker's insane upside with prototypical size and body type. In no time we'll have Walker in the UFC.
New York Jets: DT Quinnen Williams
Don't let the nice guy persona fool you: He'll bless you when you sneeze but when it's time for business, Williams is an absolute monster. Not only is he powerful and strong but his explosiveness could make the difference on any fight.
Detroit Lions: OC Frank Ragnow
There might not be a better center in the league when it comes to throwing punches at defensive linemen. Ragnow's overall physicality makes me want to bet on him immediately.
Green Bay Packers: RT Zach Tom
Tom has handled some of the most dangerous edge rushers in the NFL, including Micah Parsons and Nick Bosa in the playoffs. I'll take a flyer on him.
Carolina Panthers: OG Robert Hunt
Hunt is an absolute bully on the football field and that competitive toughness will show when he wears the four-ounces gloves.
New England Patriots: DT Christian Barmore
Barmore pushes offensive linemen around like they're middle schoolers. That sort of strength differential at the NFL level is straight up insane. I don't need to say much else, Barmore is the pick.
Las Vegas Raiders: EDGE Maxx Crosby
I don't know Crosby personally but I'm sure he's that friend who'll go to war in a bar if you ever need him. He also would be an amazing trash talker to get in opponents' heads. Just think of him calling Gardner Minshew "little a** boy" every hit.
Los Angeles Rams: OG Kevin Dotson
Just like his former college teammate Hunt (also on the list), Dotson is a bully pick. He's just casually tossing bodies around on Sundays like it's nothing.
Baltimore Ravens: K Justin Tucker
Hey listen, leg kicks can absolutely determine the outcome of an MMA fight. So I had to show kickers some love and who better than Tucker, who has five First-Team All-Pros since arriving at the NFL.
New Orleans Saints: Taysom Hill
First of all, I just want to hear Buffer yell into the mic "TAYSOM THE HUMAN SWISS ARMY KNIIIIFE… HILL!" before his fight.
And heck, Hill does it all for the Saints. If you need somebody to go out there and learn a different sport, he's who I'm calling ten times out of ten.
Seattle Seahawks: CB Devon Witherspoon
Pulling off a suplex might've landed Witherspoon a fine in the NFL, but it will cause the crowd to go absolutely nuts in an MMA fight. Plus, Devon is really good in press coverage so I trust him as a striker.
Pittsburgh Steelers: EDGE T.J. Watt
Forget about Watt being a powerful force on the football field that strikes fear in the hearts of offensive tackles… You can't convince me that Watt didn't grow up fighting his brothers J.J. and Derek just like Marshall Eriksen and his brothers in How I Met Your Mother.
Houston Texans: EDGE Denico Autry
Autry might not be the most explosive player on the field but his strength is a game-changer. His violence will prevail on combat sports.
Tennessee Titans: CB L'Jarius Sneed
In the words of Tyreek Hill, Sneed can jam you to Cancun at the line of scrimmage. Give me those press skills and turn Sneed into a striker even if he's got average arm length.
Minnesota Vikings: DC Brian Flores
Listen, some fights are won before they even begin. Can you imagine Flores' intensity on the stare down as Bruce Buffer goes wild introducing the fight? Not to mention, being the aggressor can make the difference in the scorecards and you can bet the blitz-happy coach will take that to the octagon.
