It’s Halloween, Detroit Lions fans! For me, the entire month of October is all about watching horror movies. I’m a big fan of the genre, and I try to fit in at least one movie a day. Now it’s time to have my worlds collide. I want to compare multiple Lions players or coaches to some of the most famous horror movie villains out there. Let’s jump right into it. You’ll have to go to sleep for this one.

Dan Campbell is Freddy Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street

It’s all about the talking and the creativity here. You watch Freddy because he can talk you into the building. He’s funny, but he also says some profound stuff. That’s Campbell all the way. Plus, you can totally picture him lifting someone up and smashing their head into his stomach, which has turned into a TV after saying, “Welcome to prime time.” Campbell happens ot be pretty good in prime time. Ask Baker Mayfield. He might never sleep again. One, Two, Campbell’s coming for you.

Jared Goff is Michael Myers from Halloween

When you think of Myers, you think of a guy who has one speed, but can occasionally wow you with some athleticism. That’s Jared Goff. Sometimes he gets out of that pocket and runs the ball, and you’re like “wow, Jared. I didn’t know you had it in you.” The other thing is that Myers gets the job done out there. You might set him on fire or chop his head off, but he keeps coming back and getting it done. That’s Goff all the way. He might have a five-interception game, which is probably the NFL equivalent of having your head chopped off, but he’s going to keep coming at you.

Jahmyr Gibbs is Chucky from Child’s Play

I mean, come on, this guy is small, but dammit, he’s fast. That’s really all I’ve got for the comp here. Chucky can juke you out of your shoes before he takes you out. Jahmyr can do the same.

Kerby Joseph is Candyman from The Candyman

You know damn well that if you go in front of a mirror and say Candyman three times, it’s going to be a problem for you. It’s kind of like when a quarterback throws the ball in Kerby Joseph’s area three times. It’s going to be a problem because you’ll get picked off. At the end of the day, it’s all about not testing these guys.

Penei Sewell is Frankenstein

You know how every time you bring up Frankenstein and then someone has to interrupt you and push their glasses closer to their face before saying, “Well, actually, Frankenstein is the doctor who made the monster that everyone wrongly calls Frankenstein.” Then you roll your eyes. It’s the same type of eye roll you do when Eagles fans tell you Lane Johnson is better than Penei Sewell.

Jack Campbell is The Wolfman

When you think of the Wolfman, you think about a high-intensity guy that’s out there playing like his wolf hair is on fire. Is there anyone on this team who plays more like his wolf hair is on fire than Jack Campbell? The guy is everywhere the ball is and is dodging silver bullets left and right to go make a tackle.

Dan Skipper is Jason Vorhees from Friday the 13th

I mean, come on, they’re the same exact size. Universal has to get in contact with Skip to play Vorhees in the next Friday the 13th movie if it ever comes.

Jameson Williams is Ghostface from Scream

Sure, Ghostface is usually someone different every time, but we’re talking about what the on-field product looks like when that make is on and it’s the height of athleticism and speed. Of all the villains on this list aside from Chucky, this guy runs at you, and he is always faster than you. Every single time.

Aidan Hutchinson is Patrick Bateman from American Psycho

Hutchinson doesn’t just hit you out there. He’s calculated and cerebral with his moves. He’s two steps ahead of you at all times, and like Bateman, he loves to dance. You could totally see Hutchinson asking you if you’ve heard the latest Huey Lewis and the News record before he sacks you into oblivion and then returns some videotapes.

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