Is there any version of the Red River Shootout where Oklahoma actually wins? I’ve looked, and I can’t find one.

The Oklahoma Sooners and Texas Longhorns both come into this rivalry game off bye weeks, and both carry offensive questions with them.

Oklahoma is still searching for any kind of pulse on offense. Texas is trying to iron out its own offensive problems, but the Longhorns feel really good about their defense. That defense decides the prediction for this rivalry matchup.

The ‘anything can happen’ argument doesn’t hold up in this one

Every time someone talks about this game, you hear the same thing. It’s a rivalry game. You never know what’s going to happen. Oklahoma always has a chance. Being someone from the state of Texas, I completely understand what people mean when they say that. I’ve heard it my whole life.

But more times than not, the better football team wins the Red River Shootout. The only real question is whether it’s close.

And when I look at this matchup, I struggle to see how in the world Oklahoma moves the football against the Longhorns’ defense. The Sooners have one receiver. They have a quarterback who is going to make mistakes, an offensive line that isn’t good, and a rushing attack that is nonexistent. So how exactly does that group move the ball against this Texas front seven? That front is so freaking good.

It wouldn’t shock me if this follows a similar script to what Oklahoma showed against Tennessee. A ton of sacks. Maybe an explosive play here or there. Even so, there isn’t enough of a competent offense there to trust the Sooners to win a football game like this.

A race to 20 points favors Texas every time

Here’s the part that should worry Sooners fans the most. Texas doesn’t even need to play its best game offensively. It won’t matter. This game feels like a race to 20 points. And if it’s a race to 20 points, I’m picking Texas 10 times out of 10.

And you may say that it’s a rivalry spot. Oklahoma’s defense is good. The Sooners are going to bounce back after the bye week. I do not care. There has not been a single moment this entire season from Oklahoma that tells me they have what it takes to beat this Texas team. Not one.

To be clear, I’m not a fan of either of these programs. I don’t have a horse in this race. This isn’t me rooting for the Longhorns. I’m looking at what both teams have shown and reaching the only conclusion that makes sense.

So I’m going to say it outright, and I know it’s going to sound crazy. There is no chance Texas loses this football game. I’m confident enough to put stakes on it. Call it the Clown Nose Special. I’m 2-0 on these wagers so far, and the terms are simple. If Oklahoma wins, I’ll wear a clown nose like I’m Josh Payton and apologize to everybody.

It can be close. It can be a blowout. I don’t care how it gets there. Texas will win the Red River Shootout, and an Oklahoma offense with no answers for that front seven is the reason I’m not sweating wearing the clown nose one bit.